“Assassin” by Journeyman
Writer’s Note 1: Before we get to playing the game, we need a setting! Also, it’s been a minute since I last looked at this, but even I remember that much of what I am posting below you’ve seen before, just cleaned up, revised, reordered, remixed. I’m adding a little bit at the end, however.
Writer’s Note 2: It’s been a little while since I last posted. Busy at work, tried to do too much in one post, got stuck, etc…But I’ve got time this weekend, split one big post into two smaller ones, so be on the lookout for Part 7 this weekend as well.
Prologue Part III, The Amazing! Warehouse
The Amazing! Warehouse Setting
What could you have against the Amazing! Warehouse, the setting of this game? That vast warehouse larger on the inside than even the already gargantuan exterior. It folds upon itself, finding impossible spaces, so that it can store anything and everything, and it connects seemingly everywhere, or almost everywhere, so it can deliver to you whatever you need within a day or two. And the catalog! That infinite book that opens to the page you need, those pictures that move and beckon and offer you unbeatable deals. All of this is from the genius of R. Kam Smith, wizard, life coach, and investing shaman. Just be careful of the terms of service, and don’t worry too much about the employees — they must have done something to deserve to work in such a miserable place.
Sometimes it rains in the Amazing! Warehouse. Sometimes the wind whips through it. And there are canyons in the Amazing! Warehouse, and mountains of stacked boxes that block the artificial lights and create artificial valleys of shadow. And there are tunnels. Some are temporary, haphazard, created by the movement of shelves, for the shelves have thin, strong steel legs, like mechanized storks, like Baba Yaga’s Mecha-Hut and they move according to the needs of the warehouse. Those tunnels have collapsed like a magician’s trick, and workers in those tunnels are never seen again. Rumor has it that their bodies, quartered or worse, are shipped to unsuspecting customers. Others believe that they are simply lost, stranded forever in an unknown dimension.
The Amazing! Warehouse is a crossroads, a nigh-infinite dimension, the fossil of a dead universe, the nightmare-capitalist version of Borges’ infinite library, and it connects everywhere, like a mound of fungus under an ancient forest, like creeping vines through a decrepit mansion.
Before you start the game, you and your GM must create your piece of this vast country since there is no way for me to lay it all out for you, nor would I want to if I could. That creation starts with your characters.
The Heroes
In the Amazing! Warehouse, your characters, the animals of the warehouse, are its unlikely heroes. When Chaos came, animals were mutated too. And in the mazes, caverns, walls, and forgotten rooms of the Amazing! Warehouse, there is a secret society of intelligent, even magical rats, cats, dogs, lizards, raccoons, possums, bugs, birds, and so on.
These animals live in the shadows, scavenge or steal from the near-infinite inventory of the warehouse, and dodge the so-called Dragons that hunt them. Most of all, these animals have a heart and have made common cause with some of the workers (the other heroes, but, for now, this is a story of the animals).
The Villains of the Tale
R. Kam Smith — Too remote to be the main villain, but the smiling face of this wizard, life coach, and investing shaman is on much of the “signage” of the Amazing! Warehouse.
Oz, the Overseer, the Winged Monkey — Winged monkeys are Smith’s favorite familiars, and the greatest, cruelest of these is Oz, the Overseer of the Amazing! Warehouse. He never speaks, but he projects himself into our heads with terrible, corporate, motivational memes, and he’s in so many of my nightmares. His goal is to work us to death.
The Dragons — Dogs that exude a miasmic breath and love to hunt the animals that live in the warehouse. Rumor has it that they are also turned loose on “traitorous” workers.
The Spiders — Silent, scuttling spies made of dead hands and eyes. Rumor has it that they are harvested from workers.
Other Animals -- Sometimes you compete with other animals for scarce resources, and sometimes, an animal can be as cruel and untrustworthy as a human.
The Workers -- Many of the workers are sympathetic to the animals or even their allies, and vice-versa! However, some workers are as cruel as the Dragons and more cunning.
The Environment: Obstacles, Terrain, Weather, and Chaos
The environment of the Amazing! Warehouse is dynamic and varied. Remember that most of your characters are small if not tiny. Poorly stacked boxes nearly falling on each other and impassable for humans can be an obstacle course for a mouse. A thin gap between siding and a wall might be wide enough for a snake to slither through. A busted pipe that floods part of the warehouse with a mere inch of water might be enough to destroy an insect’s lair. And actual weather? It can happen too. And sometimes, stranger things happen as well. Remember that this is a world infused with Chaos. Characters can run across spaces that seem to stretch forever, or that teleport the character somewhere else in the warehouse. A portal can open to another dimension, allowing a friend or foe in, or giving the animals a new place to explore, if they dare. Perhaps in a small area, gravity does not work, or perhaps there are other weird effects limited to your imagination.
The Setting, the Characters, and You
The Amazing! Warehouse, especially to the animals, is a world. I couldn’t detail it all if I wanted to, and I don’t want to! This game is written with space for the game group to create their own part of that world. Everyone has a voice in this. You’ve got to tell the other players, GM included, what kind of fun you want to have in the game. GMs often do this with a setting or season document that lays out the ideas they have. That’s a great document to send to players before they start character creation. However, it should be considered a rough draft since the players’ response should be to create characters that fit within but also expand that document and thus the setting and the season.
For players, this is easy since every choice in character creation can add to the setting and the season. Suppose that your character is a crow, and you think that a fun specialty for your Humanology trait would be the ability to play checkers. Fun, but how will that help you defeat Oz or get food or succeed at other tasks?
In most rpgs, playing checkers just isn’t useful, and it would be a sub-optimal choice to spend resources in character creation on doing so. But think like a writer for a moment. If checkers are important to your character, you’d add checkers to your story.
Similarly, in The Amazing! Warehouse, if the crow PC can play checkers, then maybe the workers have a checkers league, and they are amused by the crow that can play, and give it shiny things or food. Maybe the crow used to live on the outside and learned to play checkers when it was just a chick because humans played checkers in a park and an entire murder of crows knew how to play, and the crow PC just wants to get back to that park one day, but something about the warehouse keeps the crow stuck. Maybe R. Kam Smith has plans for this clever crow who can play a human game.
Working a PC’s unique choices into the game is part of the fun of being a GM, but players can and should offer their own ideas on how to do so to the GM. Anyone can think like a writer.